From The Top of The Mountain

Part 2

   The light rays from the sun woke me up. The heat from natural light and the summer air made me wish I never fell asleep. There was no way, I thought I'll be able to make the trip all the way home. But after feeling so worn down from all the heat I wasn't sure anymore.

   So I began, the blanket went right into my bag and I pulled out some water from the side. As I drank it I started walking the first few steps towards the road in the distance. I hadn't seen it last night. I thought those lights were from the city, not from vehicles passing through.

   I shivered from fear of the treacherous way ahead of me. How was I going to get home before I got caught, now? I shook my head. Just think positive, clear thoughts. You can't risk feeling down and tired. You have to stay alive and excited until you are home. 

  After hours in thought, I was realizing the sound of the cars for the first time. They zipped past as the wind followed. I was close enough to see, but far enough to get away if, by chance it was Robby. I kept my head low and let the breeze from the cars cool me down. The air was starting to get colder due to the sunset. I thought about what I was going to do when I was ready to go to sleep. 
   I couldn't remember my mother's face or my father's. This wasn't going to be that easy. I thought about Bryce, my little brother. How did he grow up? What was he now, like thirteen? I got just a little upset at myself, about how much I missed out on. I would've been able to fight him off, if I had just tried. I had to keep reminding myself that I was only five at the time. No reliving the moment. No going back. 
   So what was I going to be like when I finally got home? Will I act the way I would have if I never left? Or would I be quiet and awkward? These scenarios scared me, to think that I would never live a normal life...
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   The sun finally vanished behind the horizon and I decided I was going to rest for the night. I looked around well the moonlight reflected against the white rocks. I searched for a place to lay or even sit. I decided that I would under a rock where it wasn't so notice able, but it was easy to walk in and out.
  I felt hungry, but this I was far more used to than anything. He starved me for a week straight once. I had pissed him off so bad one day and he had decided that he was going to punish me by hunger. I remember laying in the bed with the old chain around my right ankle. Hearing him mock me and eat food in front of me. The million thoughts of murder or suicide everyday. Lingering inside and out of my head as he treated me worse than his disobedient dog. But who would ever want to obey him? 
   The hunger rumbled inside me as I thought back to that night. The fearful echo of his laughing. 
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  He stumbled closer to me with his bottle of alcohol slashing against the glass bottle. He was pretending to be my friend. He always did this when he got drunk. My God, he liked to make me sick to my stomach. 
   I was twelve years old. Between the ages of seven and fifteen, he was more than a monster. An animal, a coward, but most of all, the devil himself.
   "Brandon, look at me!" he laughed. "I'm only showing my love for you." He climbed up onto the bed and got quieter, "It's not like you're going anywhere. Turn around so I can show you all this love." I closed my eyes. I wasn't going to move a muscle. "Brandon!" he screamed. But I didn't jump. He didn't scare me anymore. 
  For a few seconds I laid on the bed and closed my eyes, just pretending like he wasn't there. But only I could live a fantasy for so long. So opened my eyes, let's just get this over with, I thought. So I opened them up. But for another thought going through my head, I had decided. Why not fuck with him for a change? 
   So I stood up in bed and this caught him off guard. Slowly, he backed off and laid his bottle on the dresser. I heard him open his drawer, but my eyes were on the bottle. Quickly, but not yet sure what I was going to do, I grabbed his last bottle of Jack and busted it against the bed frame. "That's how I feel about 'your love'" I mocked. Then once again I shut my eyes and he pretty much attacked me after that. But it was well worth it. 

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   I smiled at the thought of pissing him off. I dug into my bag and pulled out the chips and water I stole from his house before I left. I ate each chip thinking about how mad he would be by now. He was probably furious by now and stabbed at least a friend of his. But I didn't care what he did anymore. He could not get me anymore. I ran away. For good.

From The Top Of The Mountain

Part 1

   Here I was, running fast and clumsy down the steep hill. Finally away from him. Each step was the terror leaving me. It was all happening like it was in slow motion. I felt so free for the first time in ten years. I started to cry and laugh at the same time. It was the best feeling I ever experienced  in my entire life.

   For years on end I would dream about this day. Smiling as I thought of every moment of my life. The pain and anger filled in each day. The brutal abuse finally over. And all I could do was smile as tears streamed down my face. I jumped from rock to rock. Holding onto the trees as I held my balance. I headed in a straight line.

   Finally, I was going to live a normal life. I looked up at the sky, the twinkling stars reading my thoughts. The fear I knew I was trying to hide. That was just it though. Would I live a normal life? Even if I could, now that its over? Or is it? Robby had a lot of friends who murdered. Who hit, yelled. Were they really the only ones? I slowed my pace. I suddenly stopped. I gazed out scanning the mountain tops and seeing the lights in the far distance. 

   Was it supposed to be like this? Was my life really supposed to be this miserable? I didn't know and there was no way that I was going to find out. Not here. Not in the dirt and trees of my personal hell. The thoughts of real love and a real family. My family. I had a loving family waiting for me just waiting. Tens years of being so far away. But that's just it, I wasn't far. Not at all as far as it felt. I leaned over and felt dizzy.

    My breathing slowed down. Was I supposed to feel different? I didn't think this through, I thought. But what was there to think, Brandon? I thought. Nothing, absolutely, nothing. I had years to think about what life could have been. This is your life, I thought. This will never go away. The burdens will haunt you for over decades until the day that you die, I continued in my daydream. 

   It's been tens years. I had forgotten where I lived. Not the house, but the route. How was I going to make it home. The thought of being caught again, made me shiver. I was five years old when I was taken. And now that I was fifteen, abuse and hunger was all I knew. So was there a normal life for me out there in the city of which I lived the five perfect years? I stood up and walked the rest of the way down the mountain. I quickened my pace, but didn't run. I wanted time to think. My future was only so close, yet so far. I was made to be miserable. There was no leaving this world without pain. 

   I thought about my parents. Not that I never did. It was just the fact that I never had hope like I did now. And seeing the life I used to live in the distance, enchanted me to believe it was going to go right where I left off. Never had I thought about the reality. I am a fifteen year old boy, who has three years left of being considered a child. And I can't live a perfect childhood in just three years. 

   I thought about school. I never really been to school. I thought about my brother and how my mom had been pregnant when I was kidnapped. 

   I shivered, I blamed it on the chill of the air. Though I knew it came from a much deeper source. I had never met my other sibling. Was it another boy or a girl? A part of me hoped for a girl, just to have hope in something new until I finally got home. 

   I smelt the air. Against my skin, it felt nice. The bruises seemed to be so visible in the moonlight. I didn't expect to see them so clearly. I pulled out the thin blanket from the bag that had been dangling from my back since I left. I laid it under the trees and sat on it. I got even colder and wrapped it around me instead. Was I even far enough? It wouldn't matter. I took care of him. He can't get me now.